Having recently lost just shy of 100 pounds, I get added to quite a few weight loss groups. I also get asked a lot of questions.
What’s your secret? What do you eat? Is it hard? I don’t want to feel like I am on a diet. Do you feel like you’re on a diet?
I feel like a bit of a disappointment that I am not Richard Simmons-ing across their computer screens screaming, “You can do it! Put that danish back and Jazzercise! We can all be size zero by the New Year!”
Well, I am here to tell you there are no easy answers. I know most of you are wishing I have a potion in the trunk of my car I will trade you for an internal organ, I do not. I’m sorry. Believe me, I wish I did. I wish I did, all those times I couldn’t zip up my pants. When I broke two toilet seats and blamed it on my kids. When I learned about mom gut and all the jiggles that go with it. Damn. I wish I had the cure all of those times. Actually, knowing me, I would have overdosed on all of it and I would just be the size of a pool noodle right now.
Even though I am a very untrustworthy source, here’s what I have to tell you. All of you that are desperate. All of you hurting and living with a God-sized hole you’re filling with Chipotle and KFC. This is all I have to offer in ways of advice to get yourself started. I hope in some way it helps give you the answers you need.
1. Read “Women Food and God” by Geneen Roth. You may not be religious. At the time I first read it, I wasn’t either. But, this book will resonate with anyone trying to lose weight. I cried until I gagged the first time I read it. It was such a slap in the face with a truth stick that I couldn’t even finish it for months. It hurts. Fair warning.
2. Breathe. Yes, this is scary. It’s overwhelming and you’re going to want to set goals. You’re going to want to lose 100 pounds by Christmas, compete in an Iron Man and wear a bikini all at the same time. Be careful. Celebrate baby steps. Don’t give yourself insane, Biggest Loser-size goals because you’ll end up giving up before you start. There is nothing more devastating than expecting the scale to say one number and it doesn’t. Hang in there.
3. This is going to hurt. You want to change. You want to lose the weight and get fit as soon as possible. But, a lot of you don’t want to feel like it’s a change. That is the worst thing I ever did. I had to change everything about me. Everything about me revolved around food and alcohol so it all had to change. Being 50, fat and drunk isn’t cute. So, I had to accept at 30 it was time to reevaluate how I was acting and step away from the strawberry daquiris.
4. You can still have fun. For years I told myself I didn’t want to lose weight because if I wanted to take a bath in donuts and be chubby, this was my life and damnit I was going to enjoy it! I had this thought process that being fat equaled happiness and losing weight meant severe, hideous, gut-wrenching sadness. You can still eat Thanksgiving dinner. But, maybe this year you run a 5K in the morning? It’s a give and take. Next year I am taking a vacation with my husband that I never wanted to take because I always needed a seatbelt extender and felt like an ogre at the beach. Now I cannot wait to buy new clothes and show off my stretchmarks poolside.
5. Love every step of the way. If you keep your eye on that goal and never waiver, you’re going to miss at the great stops along the way. There are so many happy steps and stops. Buying new clothes, feeling more confident, not feeling winded putting on your underwear. It’s all wonderful! You’re wonderful! Find a new recipe, buy a thong, take a stripper class. Whatever! You do you and have fun. It will all fall into place.
6. Be proud. The fact that you’re even reading this article means you care about yourself. You want to change. Even if you’re not ready to make a step in any direction, you are doing something. So, don’t feel like you need to sign up for adult fat camp tomorrow. Today, you read this article, and sometimes that’s just enough. Tomorrow is a new day.
Latest posts by Mrs Mommy Mack (see all)
- To the Brokenhearted this Valentine’s Day - 10th February 2017
- Weight loss story ~ How I trained myself to get healthy - 2nd January 2017